My Autumn Writing Work in Progress

A few weeks ago, we were writing a story about Autumn. First we got told to make a table of 5 going down. In each box we would write Attempt 1-5. Each time we wrote in a new box, we had to make it better than the one before. I tried my best and my final result was very good that the teacher read it out to the class.

This is my work in progress-

Adjectives

Similes

Favourite sentence

Attempt 1 Autumn is a season. Autumn gets shorter days because it gets darker. It gets colder because winter is near. Leaves fall off because their time had ended. Autumn is fun because there is piles of leaves to play in. Sports start because it keeps us warm and fit. Birds and butterflies fly north because it is warmer there.

Attempt 2 Autumn is a wonderful season filled with shrieks of delight. Autumn has shorter days because it is near Winter and Winter is dark and cold. It becomes colder as the winds from Antarctica come this way.Leaves fall off in a light caramel/lemon yellow coloured because their time has ended. Autumn always has a bright side to it because of the leave fights and leave angles. Winter sports training starts because it is too cold to do runs, so there is still a way to keep fit. Families and groups of chirping birds plus the moronic butterflies migrate north.

Attempt 3 Autumn is a colourful wonder as you hear the shrieks of delight from the children as they play happily with each other in the leaves. Autumn zooms by because we sleep longer and there is less day time, mainly because of the scary and lonely dark which we sleep through. When you find it cold, you can blame it on the winds flying here from Antarctica because as you know that Antarctica is freezing. Most children love having fun in the piles of leaves because they are so much fun, leaf fights, leaf angles and leafmans. Winter sport train slowly begins as it creeps deeper into the coldness because it's the best way to keep warm and fit in Winter. The cute and free families of birds and the detailed wings of the butterflies all migrate to the sunny north because we could all agree that it is warmer there, it's the best spot at this time of the year.

Attempt 4 I love seeing the colourful art of red, yellow, orange and green leaves on the trees and as I listen to the shriks of laughter and delight coming from the smiling children, I know that Autumn is here! I Spend my chilly time carefully because I know that daylight savings around the corner. I run around so that the chilly, cold, common winds do not get me because I would hate to sit inside my bedroom, watching the children in puffy jackets play while I recover from my cold. I’m not sure about you but I want to dive in and swim in a pile of leaves because I imagine myself enjoying the fun of all the things like leaf fights, leaf angles and leafmans! Winter sports is a hobby not only for boys because girls also need something to keep warm and fit in the Winter.The cute and free families of birds and the detailed wings of the butterflies all migrate to the shiny north because we could all agree that it is warmer there, it's the best spot at this time of the year.

Attempt 5 Autumn I wake up to a dark day, I grin as I see another sign of my favorite season. Every time I step outside, I look around, amazed at the natural beauty of the masterpiece, the colourful art of red, yellow, orange and green leaves on the trees. The astonishment flows through me. It only happens once a year. The breath-taking, eye-soothing colour on the trees gets me lost in the sight of the warm welcome. All of these wonders rings a bell in my head as I hear the shrieks of delight from the happy children filling the sky. I stay still, looking at the magical sight. I know that the magical wonder of Autumn is here! I spend my time carefully because days get shorter and nights get longer. I treasure every second because you can never go back in time so do things like leaf fights, leaf angles and leafmans- don’t forget to spent time with your caring and as loving as the gentle night sky. Autumn is so much fun when you throw the crispy, crunchy leaves and watching it fly up then scattering into a firework display. The feeling reacts in you, making you giggle with joy. The showering falls as peacefully as a snowflake landing on the nose. Slowly, Winter sports starts because we need something to keep warm and fit in the Winter. The cute and free flocks of birds and the detailed and unique wings of the monarch butterflies all migrate to the sunny north because we could all agree that it is warmer there, it's the best spot at this time of the year. As we dig deeper into Autumn, make sure that you have your puffy jackets, warm and soft hats because every second Winter creeps near. Winter gallops over 1000 miles to settle in New Zealand for three chilly months then it's off to another place! I grin from ear to ear as I look around, every passing moment in the wonderland. It grabs me in the appearance, urging me to stay. I grin as gentle as a cotton ball.

This is my end result, I'm proud of what I wrote-

 Autumn

I wake up to a dark day, I grin as I see another sign of my favorite season. Every time I step outside, I look around, amazed at the natural beauty of the masterpiece, the colourful art of red, yellow, orange and green leaves on the trees. The astonishment flows through me. It only happens once a year. The breath-taking, eye-soothing colour on the trees gets me lost in the sight of the warm welcome. All of these wonders rings a bell in my head as I hear the shrieks of delight from the happy children filling the sky. I stay still, looking at the magical sight. I know that the magical wonder of Autumn is here! I spend my time carefully because days get shorter and nights get longer. I treasure every second because you can never go back in time so do things like leaf fights, leaf angles and leafmans- don’t forget to spent time with your caring and as loving as the gentle night sky. Autumn is so much fun when you throw the crispy, crunchy leaves and watching it fly up then scattering into a firework display. The feeling reacts in you, making you giggle with joy. The showering falls as peacefully as a snowflake landing on the nose. Slowly, Winter sports starts because we need something to keep warm and fit in the Winter. The cute and free flocks of birds and the detailed and unique wings of the monarch butterflies all migrate to the sunny north because we could all agree that it is warmer there, it's the best spot at this time of the year. As we dig deeper into Autumn, make sure that you have your puffy jackets, warm and soft hats because every second Winter creeps near. Winter gallops over 1000 miles to settle in New Zealand for three chilly months then it's off to another place! I grin from ear to ear as I look around, every passing moment in the wonderland. It grabs me in the appearance, urging me to stay. I grin as gentle as a cotton ball.

I would love to hear what you thought of my work!